Yea… So I missed half of the first month of the year… BUT I’m still here to QUICKLY highlight the 1 movie you should see every month for 2017!  All dates and links are ripped right from Cinema Blend, so hopefully they didn’t screw me over too bad, lol.

JANUARY – SPLIT

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January 20th

M. Night directs James McAvoy in a thriller where 3 girls are kidnapped by a man suffering from dissociative personality disorder.  Sounds crazy… should be crazy good.

Honorable Mention:

The Founder – Friday, January 20
xXx: The Return of Xander Cage – Friday, January 20

Resident Evil: The Final Chapter – Friday, January 27

FEBRUARY – JOHN WICK: CHAPTER 2

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February 10th

Keanu Reeves reprises his role as bad ass assassin John Wick.  Hopefully he doesn’t need another murdered dog to get motivated to unleash some vengeance on some fools.

Honorable Mention:

Rings – Friday, February 3
The Space Between Us – Friday, February 3

Fifty Shades Darker – Friday, February 10
The Lego Batman Movie – Friday, February 10

A Cure For Wellness – Friday, February 17
Fist Fight – Friday, February 17
The Great Wall – Friday, February 17

MARCH – LOGAN

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March 3rd

Hugh Jackman’s supposed swan song as Wolverine… a HARD R WOLVERINE MOVIE! #NuffSaid

Honorable Mentions:

Kong: Skull Island – Friday, March 10
The Wall – Friday, March 10

Beauty and the Beast – Friday, March 17
The Belko Experiment – Friday, March 17

CHiPs – Friday, March 24
Power Rangers – Friday, March 24

The Boss Baby – Friday, March 31
Ghost In The Shell – Friday, March 31
Step Sisters – Friday, March 31

APRIL – SLEIGHT

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April 7th

I KNOW I KNOW I KNOW… Fate of the Furious comes out this month, but damnit allow me to tell you to see something the least bit original!

Honorable Mentions:

Smurfs: The Lost Village – Friday, April 7
The Fate Of The Furious – Friday, April 14
Unforgettable – Friday, April 21

The Circle – Friday, April 28

MAY – GUARDIANS OF THE GALAXY VOL 2

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May 5th

The gang is back with some new recruits in this highly anticipated sequel.  Marvel is dropping 3 movies this year and Vol 2 should be a great tone setter.

Honorable Mentions:

King Arthur: Legend of the Sword – Friday, May 12

Alien: Covenant – Friday, May 19
Diary of a Wimpy Kid: The Long Haul – Friday, May 19

Baywatch – Friday, May 26
Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Men Tell No Tales – Friday, May 26

JUNE – WONDER WOMAN

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June 2nd

Look… DC… this is your LAST CHANCE to not completely balls a movie up.  If you screw us again, you might as well release Justice League straight to DVD and cut your losses.

Honorable Mentions:

The Mummy – Friday, June 9

Cars 3 – Friday, June 16

Transformers: The Last Knight – Friday, June 23

Amityville: The Awakening – Friday, June 30
Barbie – Friday, June 30
Despicable Me 3 – Friday, June 30

JULY – War For The Planet of the Apes

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July 14th

IF I CAN ONLY PICK 1… YES, Spider-Man: Homecoming is coming out this same month, but honestly Andy Serkis and this Apes franchise continue to exceed expectations!  I’m sure Spidey will be great, but I’m already too invested in this franchise to even potentially miss it.

Honorable Mentions:

Spider-Man: Homecoming – Friday, July 7

Bad Dads – Friday, July 14

Dunkirk – Friday, July 21
The Dark Tower – Friday, July 28

AUGUST – ???

August us so fool of MEH to me… Maybe i’ll use this time to see Spider-Man… lol

Dishonorable Mentions:

All I See Is You – Friday, August 4
Emoji Movie: Express Yourself – Friday, August 4

Annabelle 2 – Friday, August 11
Baby Driver – Friday, August 11

The Hitman’s Bodyguard – Friday, August 18

Cadaver – Friday, August 25
Polaroid – Friday, August 25
Villa Capri – Friday, August 25

SEPTEMBER – IT
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September 8th

This is another down month.  I will see IT more out of perverse curiosity as to whether or not they do it well or if its total trash.

OCTOBER – Kingsman: The Golden Circle

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October 6th

We are reaching that point in the year where there are little to no details about any of these films.  Kingsman was a runaway surprise hit.  I have no reason to think the sequel will hit any sort of sophomore slump.

HONORABLE MENTIONS:

Blade Runner 2049 – Friday, October 6
My Little Pony – Friday, October 6

Friday the 13th – Friday, October 13

Geostorm – Friday, October 20
Insidious: Chapter 4 – Friday, October 20

Untitled Saw Movie – Friday, October 27
God Particle (Cloverfield Universe) – Friday, October 27

***PLEASE CLICK THE LINK FOR GEOSTORM TO LAUGH YOUR ASS OFF! MY LORD DOES THAT SOUND BAD!***

NOVEMBER – JUSTICE LEAGUE

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November 17th

***ONLY IF WONDER WOMAN IS WORTH A DAMN! No actually… Wonder Woman needs to be definitively good… aka BETTER THAN MAN OF STEEL. No extended edition necessary, no split audiences.  Make a great Wonder Woman movie, and yes, I would then want to see this more than Thor 3!

Honorable Mentions:

Thor: Ragnarok – Friday, November 3

DECEMBER – STAR WARS EPISODE 8

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December 15th

So… for the foreseeable future, we will be getting a Star Wars movie in December… and for the foreseeable future, I will be about that life.

Honorable Mentions:

Jumanji – Friday, December 22
Pitch Perfect 3 – Friday, December 22
The Six Billion Dollar Man – Friday, December 22

 

What are you looking forward to the most this year?!

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