Oh no… it’s happening again, isn’t it? A children’s movie comes out of nowhere, blows everyone away and the studio just sees dollar signs. We get unnecessary sequel after unnecessary sequel until the final installment is a disgusting shell of itself. ***COUGH – SHREK FRANCHISE – COUGH*** Whatever… here’s Despicable Me 3.
Oh boy… ok…
1 LOVE – 80’s THEMED VILLAIN
You gotta keep those parents invested somehow, right? When you make a villain that not only wears purple should pads, but also moonwalks to Michael Jackson for his attack theme, and beats people up with Rubik’s Cubes…. you just successfully sent the audience on a nostalgic rollercoaster.
1 HATE – MINIONS
Look… I will be in the extreme minority on this… but fuck these things! I am completely over them. They wore out all their well wishes with that terrible cash grab stand alone movie! Do not bring your kid to my door dressed as a Minion for Halloween. I am kicking you in the shin and pushing your kid over in pure disgust!
1 SURPRISE – TREY PARKER IS BALTHAZAR BRATT
Yeah… THAT Trey Parker aka 1/2 of the creative team that is South Park. When I first saw his name, I was sort of excited. Like… we may get some really cool Trey Parker/Steve Carell banter… but then I remembered this is a kids movie. Stupid kids ruin everything.
OVERALL – MEH
I’m thoroughly excited that my daughter is not of movie taking age and I will not be FORCED to see this. Nothing against this universe, but I just don’t feel like we need to revisit it. Anything after MINIONS is going to feel like a desperate plea for $$$. Hopefully I am rong and this is a good time at the theatre, especially for the kiddies, but bleh… count me out! Grade?